Gidarnhom is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ill-tempered spider.

Gidarnhom created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidarnhom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gidarnhom, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Gidarnhom's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gidarnhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. You must pray to Gidarnhom nine times a day.

5. Gidarnhom loves badgers, so they must be honoured.