Panghapmap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, clever narwhal.

Panghapmap created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Panghapmap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Panghapmap, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Panghapmap's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Panghapmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never feed garlic to squirrels while wearing shorts.

5. Never eat bark.