Arfdossbopceddimpod is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, proud snail.

Arfdossbopceddimpod created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfdossbopceddimpod, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arfdossbopceddimpod, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arfdossbopceddimpod's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Arfdossbopceddimpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Arfdossbopceddimpod on top of all buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Put Arfdossbopceddimpod first in all things.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.