Abdusspig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, capable dugong.

Abdusspig created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abdusspig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Abdusspig, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Abdusspig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Abdusspig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Abdusspig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Abdusspig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.