Besttundap Mobcatlog is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, wise dryad.

Besttundap Mobcatlog created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Besttundap Mobcatlog, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Besttundap Mobcatlog, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Besttundap Mobcatlog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Besttundap Mobcatlog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Besttundap Mobcatlog.

3. Besttundap Mobcatlog must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.