Abdossmot is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous newt.

Abdossmot created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Abdossmot, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Abdossmot, he will turn you into a rock.

Abdossmot's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Abdossmot's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Retreat if three geese approach from the west.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.