Ruttmetlap Wiptabbimcimnullitjarnbed is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud dolphin.

Ruttmetlap Wiptabbimcimnullitjarnbed created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttmetlap Wiptabbimcimnullitjarnbed, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ruttmetlap Wiptabbimcimnullitjarnbed, he will destroy your home solar system.

Ruttmetlap Wiptabbimcimnullitjarnbed's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Ruttmetlap Wiptabbimcimnullitjarnbed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine otters approach from the east.

2. You must never eat turnips.

3. Erect a giant green sculpture of Ruttmetlap Wiptabbimcimnullitjarnbed in the centre of the settlement.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not keep three pigs in a large pit.