Rutyakyat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, proud pigeon.

Rutyakyat created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Rutyakyat, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Rutyakyat, he will turn you into a dog.

Rutyakyat's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Rutyakyat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet voles, for they are unholy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed peanuts to foxes while wearing shirts.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Never hurt eagles.