Jap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish troll.

Jap created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jap, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jap's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jap's Holy Commandments

1. Jap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never think about spacetime near goats while wearing orange shoes and balancing nine carbon spheres on your arms.