Quafruttsigapp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing elephant.

Quafruttsigapp created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafruttsigapp, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quafruttsigapp, he will turn you into a slug.

Quafruttsigapp's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quafruttsigapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention manatees.

2. Put Quafruttsigapp first in all things.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Quafruttsigapp loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Quafruttsigapp loves doves, so they must be honoured.