Ripbidjin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, amazing chinchilla.

Ripbidjin created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Ripbidjin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ripbidjin, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Ripbidjin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Ripbidjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near badgers while wearing gray scarves.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ripbidjin.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look after injured grasshopers.