Somyart is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, contented goblin.

Somyart created the planet Venus eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somyart, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Somyart, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Somyart's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Somyart's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near turtles while wearing pink scarves.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Pray towards the east.