Rakcamhak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing guinea pig.

Rakcamhak created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakcamhak, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rakcamhak, he will be mildly annoyed.

Rakcamhak's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Rakcamhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near dolphins while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing nine zinc spheres on your hands.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Rakcamhak on top of all buildings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.