Podcuttit Lamgub is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, competent crab.

Podcuttit Lamgub created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Podcuttit Lamgub, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Podcuttit Lamgub, it will turn you into a puffin.

Podcuttit Lamgub's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Podcuttit Lamgub's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about otters.