Ladzental Hotnaddob is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, awe-inspiring aardvark.

Ladzental Hotnaddob created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladzental Hotnaddob, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ladzental Hotnaddob, he will turn you into a frog.

Ladzental Hotnaddob's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Ladzental Hotnaddob's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near voles while wearing gray jumpers and balancing six carbon spheres on your legs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect eight gold sculptures of Ladzental Hotnaddob on top of important buildings.

4. Never sing near capybaras.

5. Mice are not to be trusted.