Lagtiptettiwiktinnartsom is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, capable hamster.

Lagtiptettiwiktinnartsom created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagtiptettiwiktinnartsom, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lagtiptettiwiktinnartsom, it will not invite you to parties.

Lagtiptettiwiktinnartsom's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Lagtiptettiwiktinnartsom's Holy Commandments

1. Lagtiptettiwiktinnartsom must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think about dark energy near otters while wearing magenta shoes and balancing eight zinc spheres on your head.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near capybaras while wearing orange hats.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.