Somgudkip is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, conceited scorpion.

Somgudkip created the Sunflower Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somgudkip, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Somgudkip, she will jump up and down on your head.

Somgudkip's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Somgudkip's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Somgudkip.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near nematodes while wearing green skirts and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Somgudkip in the centre of the settlement.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.