Zanxuclabyamrulcad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous turtle.

Zanxuclabyamrulcad created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanxuclabyamrulcad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Zanxuclabyamrulcad, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Zanxuclabyamrulcad's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Zanxuclabyamrulcad's Holy Commandments

1. Zanxuclabyamrulcad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. You must love Zanxuclabyamrulcad.

5. Always take life seriously.