Begtapmab is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fussy toad.

Begtapmab created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Begtapmab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Begtapmab, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Begtapmab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Begtapmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Put Begtapmab first in all things.

4. Begtapmab loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near doves while wearing cyan rings.