Fobfarnmat is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, vain hippopotamus.

Fobfarnmat created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Fobfarnmat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fobfarnmat, she will turn you into a mole.

Fobfarnmat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fobfarnmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

5. Run away from yellow monkeys, for they are unholy.