Tik is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonourable deer.

Tik created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tik, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tik, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Tik's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black frogs for they are unholy.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics.

3. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

4. Never hurt moths.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.