Gutkabpang is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fast bird.

Gutkabpang created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Gutkabpang, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gutkabpang, he will curse you with boils.

Gutkabpang's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gutkabpang's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gutkabpang.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Never eat green fruit.