Zetcinyog is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zetcinyog created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zetcinyog, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zetcinyog, it will turn you into a rock.

Zetcinyog's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zetcinyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of doves.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Zetcinyog must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always obey Zetcinyog's priests.