Yomyatjop is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, astonishing tapir.

Yomyatjop created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yomyatjop, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yomyatjop, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Yomyatjop's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Yomyatjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never look at stars.