Xucwodmil Sabfedbap Quathadboss is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty penguin.

Xucwodmil Sabfedbap Quathadboss created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucwodmil Sabfedbap Quathadboss, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xucwodmil Sabfedbap Quathadboss, it will turn you into a worm.

Xucwodmil Sabfedbap Quathadboss' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Xucwodmil Sabfedbap Quathadboss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Xucwodmil Sabfedbap Quathadboss in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Always obey Xucwodmil Sabfedbap Quathadboss' priests.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.