Cunpibqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, slow deer.

Cunpibqueeg created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Cunpibqueeg, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cunpibqueeg, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cunpibqueeg's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cunpibqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near doves while wearing cyan shorts and balancing five silver spheres on your neck.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not shave your head.