Gutcamfig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish manatee.

Gutcamfig created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Gutcamfig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gutcamfig, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gutcamfig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gutcamfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat manatees with great respect.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Never think about spacetime near otters while wearing purple ear rings and balancing nine iron spheres on your legs.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never leap in the presence of grasshopers.