Dampindid Gepwapban is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciful bat.

Dampindid Gepwapban created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dampindid Gepwapban, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dampindid Gepwapban, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Dampindid Gepwapban's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Dampindid Gepwapban's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never hurt snails.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Dampindid Gepwapban loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

5. Never feed lots of strawberries to gulls while wearing orange scarves.