Cumarncutmigquillquatpop is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent rhinoceros.

Cumarncutmigquillquatpop created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Cumarncutmigquillquatpop, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cumarncutmigquillquatpop, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cumarncutmigquillquatpop's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Cumarncutmigquillquatpop's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always obey Cumarncutmigquillquatpop's priests.