Japcibjad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, wise frog.

Japcibjad created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japcibjad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Japcibjad, he will think nothing of it.

Japcibjad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Japcibjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.