Fidgovvil is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain jaguar.

Fidgovvil created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidgovvil, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fidgovvil, she will curse you with boils.

Fidgovvil's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fidgovvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.