Jonhadsom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, vain duck.

Jonhadsom created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonhadsom, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jonhadsom, he will remove you from existence.

Jonhadsom's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Jonhadsom's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always help frogs in need.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Feed all hungry sheep.