Xucdissved is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome fly.

Xucdissved created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucdissved, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xucdissved, he will turn you into a tree.

Xucdissved's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Xucdissved's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat shrews with great respect.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to porpoises while wearing green skirts.

3. Always look after injured birds.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.