Cissflisbad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, impressive elephant.

Cissflisbad created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissflisbad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cissflisbad, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Cissflisbad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Cissflisbad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not keep seven ducks in a large pit.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never laugh in the presence of cats.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.