Jatbodbam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind bat.

Jatbodbam created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jatbodbam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jatbodbam, it will curse you with boils.

Jatbodbam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Jatbodbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not take Jatbodbam's name in vain.