Vabnigflam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful dog.

Vabnigflam created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabnigflam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabnigflam, he will laugh at you.

Vabnigflam's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vabnigflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Run away from orange monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Hide from indigo dogs for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not eat gooseberries.