Stigjatcab is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, stupid lion.

Stigjatcab created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigjatcab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stigjatcab, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Stigjatcab's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Stigjatcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.