Panquagbell is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, competent fish.

Panquagbell created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Panquagbell, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Panquagbell, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Panquagbell's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Panquagbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about otters.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Never think about special relativity near voles while wearing brown ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your arms.