Bonkgomkop is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, grumpy elephant.

Bonkgomkop created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkgomkop, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonkgomkop, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bonkgomkop's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bonkgomkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Feed all hungry goats.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.