Gupvigarf is a god.

It takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring crow.

Gupvigarf created the Black Eye Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Gupvigarf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gupvigarf, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gupvigarf's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gupvigarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near monkeys while wearing mauve corsets.

5. Never feed oranges to tapirs while wearing turquoise stockings.