Lipwanbog is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish crocodile.

Lipwanbog created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipwanbog, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lipwanbog, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lipwanbog's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Lipwanbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Erect eight aluminium sculptures of Lipwanbog on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not chop down trees.