Tikgarwit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, narcissistic capybara.

Tikgarwit created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikgarwit, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tikgarwit, he will turn you into a duck.

Tikgarwit's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tikgarwit's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.