Hogzogjop is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, dishonourable salamander.

Hogzogjop created a strange quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hogzogjop, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hogzogjop, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hogzogjop's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hogzogjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Retreat if three whales approach from the south.

3. Never feed lentils to dogs while wearing red corsets.

4. Sharks are not to be trusted.

5. Never write about black holes.