Tarmab is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate fox.

Tarmab created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarmab, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarmab, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tarmab's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tarmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never approach rivers carrying clay.

3. Never think about spacetime near whales while wearing green stockings and balancing eight gold spheres on your back.

4. Do not name children after monkeys.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.