Dimnurtgom is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, intelligent scorpion.

Dimnurtgom created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Dimnurtgom, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dimnurtgom, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dimnurtgom's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dimnurtgom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Dimnurtgom in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never talk about special relativity near tortoises while wearing fawn stockings.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.