Veenkabquim is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, astonishing pigeon.

Veenkabquim created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenkabquim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Veenkabquim, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Veenkabquim's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Veenkabquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always look after injured foxes.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

5. Always stare at clouds.