Fitnullig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, annoying badger.

Fitnullig created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnullig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fitnullig, she will be very unhappy.

Fitnullig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Fitnullig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.