Narlabjin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent capybara.

Narlabjin created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlabjin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Narlabjin, she will be very sad.

Narlabjin's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Narlabjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Erect six nickel sculptures of Narlabjin on top of important buildings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never wear gray tights.

5. Never talk about optics.