Zagcamstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish wolf.

Zagcamstaf created the Sunflower Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagcamstaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zagcamstaf, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Zagcamstaf's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zagcamstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt capybaras.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing red shoes and balancing three gold spheres on your back.

5. Never talk about fire.