Cumnadlamlop is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, staggering hedgehog.

Cumnadlamlop created a bottom quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumnadlamlop, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cumnadlamlop, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cumnadlamlop's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Cumnadlamlop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Never skip in the presence of horses.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. You must love Cumnadlamlop.